This past weekend, the hubs and I headed to my hometown to celebrate my belated 22nd birthday with family. While at dinner, my Grandma reminded me of the fact that she had been married for two years and was expecting her first baby within months of turning the same age. Although similar scenarios do take place today, it's not nearly as common as it used to be.
The hubs proposed to me on March 26, 2011. I was just 20 years old. But that didn't cross my mind for a nanosecond when I said "yes!" because I knew I was being asked to spend my life with the man for me. Being a younger bride/ wife, I especially enjoy planning weddings for couples in the same boat. Because it can be challenging and not just financially, but from a social aspect as well.
Shortly after we shared the news with close friends and family, we excitedly posted our new relationship status to Facebook. And (to my face) the feedback was excitement, congratulatory wishes and genuine happiness for this new chapter in our lives. But it didn't take long for the negative comments to surface. People would condesceningly say things like, "How old are you??" or "Why would you wanna throw your life away like that?" I was consistenly reminded that the statistics were against us. I even recall multiple comments about an eminent divorce.
I was not only hurt, but furioius. How dare anyone tell me when to get married or that my marriage was doomed to fail?! One afternoon, I posted a status about my frustration with all of the rude comments and was immediately comforted by friends who had received the same or even worse reactions.
People will always have something to say, especially the ones who don't even know you! And yes, the majority of people will be happy for you, but you may have to be prepared for the ones who aren't when their comments take you by surprise. Sometimes it's out of spite or jealousy and sometimes it's simply because people think they must have a say in everything, especially topics which are none of their business.
Young engaged couples may face different obstacles in their relationships, but at the end of the day, you will know when you've met the one you want to build a life with. And it doesn't matter if you're 22 or 42.
It's okay to get married young and it's also okay to wait. And no matter what your age, everyone will have an opinion on every.single.decision you make regarding your wedding. So take the negative words as they come, have a snarky response ready and...
Where I'm from 20 is totally normal. I was 26 and I swear people thought I'd never get married. :) For real. My mom said that!
ReplyDeleteIt's so funny how where you live affects all kinds of stuff. You would think that, in a small town outside of St. Louis (where I'm from) that 20 would be a pretty normal age to get married...and you'd be wrong! haha!
DeleteAt 26?? That's crazy! It seems, more and more, that people are holding off on marriage until their late twenties and early thirties.